Shammam, a civilian

My story begins in the capital of Libya, which is Tripoli.  The capital city is located near the Mediterranean Sea in Northwestern Libya.  My name is Shammam, I am currently 17 years old and have lived in Libya for my whole lifetime.  My parents have grown up their whole life with Muammar el-Qaddafi as the leader of the country their whole life.  So when the rebels and foreign military’s have got involved they have stuck loyal to the Qaddafi regime.  Every night at dinner, they have the radio on listening to the news updates, with what is going on.  Since Gaddafi has control on the broadcast airways, we only hear what he wants us too.  I believe he has brainwashed them into believing his way is the only way.  This is why it is hard for me to go against them.  A part of me wants to continue the uprising and fight for the rebels, but I know how much my parents would look down on me and probably disown me.  But seeing some of my friends learning how to shoot and fight for the rebels, I want to follow their lead.  Every time I see them they are constantly urging me to change my mind and fight with them.  They say how much better our lives will be once they defeat the Gaddafi regime and him.  But on the other hand not only do I not want to let my parents down; I hear all the good things that Gaddafi has done for our country over the years.  They say “Gaddafi has kept peace in the country for years, built the military up, and negotiated with Superpower countries to but oil from the country.” (Mcleod) I wonder what he has done for me over the last few years.  I have seen killings of innocent people and promises that haven’t gone through.  I just hope over the next few months I didn’t make the wrong decision in believing my parents and not going with gut feeling.